Zombie Apocalypse

Anybody who knows me knows that I am a big fan of zombies. I don't know when my interest/fascination/obsession with zombies (books, movies, 5K runs, etc.) started (sometime in college, I think), but it is one that has endured for many years. In fact, my final senior English seminar paper in college was on the Resident Evil film series and how it's an evolving allegory for our societal fears today. (I'm still not sure how I managed to get that topic past my professor, but I had a great time watching those movies over and over again in preparation for writing.) I continue to read and watch any new zombie books and films that come out (I highly recommend reading Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion and World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks) and enjoy them all immensely (some more than others, of course). It should come as no surprise to learn then that I've also spent an inordinate amount of time planning exactly what I will (note: will, not would) do when the zombie apocalypse finally occurs.  What weapons for protection from the walking dead and humans I will acquire, whether to stay in cities or head for the country-side, how to meet up with my family and which of my family members I think would actually survive long enough for me to meet up with them (I'm sorry to say that

some of my siblings have no hope of making it). I've also discussed this in depth with two of my sisters and taken components of their plans and adapted them to my own while also scoffing at what are clearly some very foolish ideas on how to survive. I'm pretty sure that I now have a workable plan that will ensure my survival in the face of the zombie apocalypse, be they fast or slow zombies. (And don't worry, Mom & Dad, I've got a plan to get to you both and protect you from the undead hordes.)

Now, knowing all of this, it also can't come as a surprise to learn that zombies are quite frequently on my mind. (To have an adequate zombie apocalypse plan you must be constantly evolving that plan according to the changes of society, geography, family, etc. - every good zombie apocalypse preparer knows this.) And so, today I offer to you all a zombie apocalypse poem for your enjoyment. I hope it inspires all of you to become more well read (and well watched) on the subject and convinces you all to start formulating your own survival plan. Good luck!

The end of all is drawing near,

We gather close out of fear.

Cling together, don't let go,

Keep your breathing nice and slow.

Don't make a sound, not one peep,

In the shadows they now creep.

Use your head to stay alive,

Before you run, count to five.

To make sure the coast is clear,

Take a pause, what do you hear?

A slow shuffle, a dragging foot,

Moans of hunger, now take a look,

Around the corner, what do you see?

Too many horrors, it's time to flee!

Do you know now where to run,

Where safety lies under the sun?

Did you make a plan in case,

You were to witness the end of days?

I hope you gave it some good thought,

As the man too slow is surely caught.

They called me a fool and laughed in my face,

But who's laughing now as the zombies give chase?

Blogs in the Family

I come from a family of bloggers. And I have no one to blame but myself. Our collective introduction to the world of blogging began when I travelled to SE Asia in 2010. Prior to that time I don’t think anyone in my family had ever given much thought to even reading someone’s blog and certainly no thought to keeping a blog themselves. But when I decided to travel alone half a world away from home, friends, and family to live in SE Asia for three months after my first year of law school this all changed. We’ve always been a tightknit clan and the prospect of being largely out of communication for that entire period of time was intolerable (particularly to my parents – I am their youngest and favorite child, after all). At first we considered merely having me send out periodic email updates to everyone, but considering the large number of people I would need to keep in touch with (I am one of six siblings and lets not even start on the size of the extended fam) this seemed too impractical for words. And so, in a moment of genius (I have quite a few of these), I suggested that I keep a blog. This would allow me to write one update on me and my life while travelling that everyone could read when and where they wanted and I wouldn’t require me to spend my entire three months abroad simply answering emails. Thus was born Adventures of a Bookworm Abroad, my first blog.

Prior to that initial blogging experience I had never really considered whether or not I enjoyed writing. I wrote all the time for school, of course; but writing research papers or essays on novels is in no way similar to creative or journal writing. I found in very short order that I, in fact, loved keeping a blog. Years of excessive (according to my mother) reading had given me a decent command of the English language and I found that I enjoyed finding my own voice and describing my travelling adventures for friends and family to (hopefully) enjoy.

Then I returned home to the US and fell into a funk. It can be really difficult to go from life on the road to the more sedentary pace of “real life.” Combine that with the fact that I had been living in third world countries for three months, gaining exposure for the first time to the plight of so many people around the world who live in abject poverty, and then came back to the rampant consumerism of the United States and it’s no wonder that I was a teensy bit depressed upon my return. It took me about six months or so before I returned to normal and during that time I was not blogging. My Bookworm Abroad blog had served its purpose, chronicling my adventures away from home and now that I had returned to my regular life there seemed to be nothing more to say. Then, one day, while sitting in a ridiculously boring constitutional law class, I had an idea for a blog post and my second blog was born: Thoughts of a Bookworm at Home. I don’t write nearly as often as I should, but I try to keep up a regular stream of posts consisting of random thoughts, occasional diatribes, and, quite frequently, poetry.

My family seemed genuinely pleased that I returned to my blogging and encouraged my efforts. And only a few months later my mom told me that she had decided to start a blog as well. This blog would be a blog for herself and her quilting compatriots (of which I am a member). My mother is an incredible woman who knows how to do every art and craft. Literally. You would have great trouble finding a type of art or craft that my mother does not know how to do. She has done it all: book making, paper making, stamp carving, painting (oil, watercolor, acrylics), drawing (pencil, color pencil, charcoal, pastels), sculpture, knitting, crocheting, doll making, needle felting, mixed media art, embroidery, quilting, etc. In the past few years, however, she has focused her attention largely on quilting. My mom has collected a group of friends and family, all fellow quilters, and created a group that my dad calls “The Stix Chix” (Stix = Sticks, because we’re too small to be a club, hehehe). Well, my mom decided that a blog was the perfect way to keep all the Six Chix connected as more and more of us were moving away from our home base of Amador County, California. Her blog was a rousing success, at least in our small circle, but my mom soon outstripped its limited parameters of knitting and quilting topics. She liked writing so much that she decided to start a second blog for herself – Moser Good Eats – a blog devoted to my parents’ food adventures and travels. Her blogs are now several years old and she remains as enthusiastic as the day she began.

And so, within the span of two years, there were four blogs between two of the Moser women. For years we held to this number and my mother and I have managed to restrain ourselves from starting any more blogs (thank goodness), but now that number has increased by one. My sister, Jana, has started her own blog – Here, Eat These Berries. Following a major health issue diagnosis (I’ll let you read more about that in her own words in her first blog post), my mom began encouraging Jana to express herself via writing by starting either a private journal or a blog. For a long time Jana resisted. In fact, through her initial treatment and recovery, over a seven month period, Jana resisted. But finally, my mom won (as she always does) and Jana started her blog just under one week ago. And even after so short of time, it’s clear that Jana is an addict. A total blogging addict.

Since that first blog post, Jana has written about two posts per day, she calls me as soon as she posts to tell me to read (even at 7:00 on a Saturday), she insists I comment at least once per post, she spends hours staging pictures and she’s obsessed with gaining readers. She’s crazy! But she’s also really funny and insightful. I can hear her voice and picture her mannerisms in every word on the page and she often makes me laugh out loud. In fact, I think my sister may be better at this blogging thing than I am. And I’m absolutely sure that it won’t be long before she outstrips me in readership.

As the tally now stands there are five blogs run by three Moser women. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before more of the family joins us in the blogosphere. I wonder what my dad is doing right now…

Adventure Awaits

You claim you're very hurt,
You clench you side in pain.
You sneak a peek at faces all around,
Seeking sympathy in vain.

For I know all your tricks,
You use to get your way,
To gain freedom from the drudgery,
And escape this hellish day.

Of course a bargain could be struck,
If you're willing to make a deal,
Take me with you out of here,
And I swear my lips are sealed.

For adventure awaits beyond these walls,
It's calling out my name.
Singing a lovely siren's song,
Of glory, fortune and great fame.

I ask you now, what will you choose,
What will you decide to do?
Stay here, cooped up with no hint of fun,
Or bravery, courage and derring-do?

No? I knew you'd see the light of day,
Now just follow where I lead,
And grab your stomach one more time,
For you are sick, it's clear to see.

Balance

A wish in the Winter for sunshine to come
An end to the endless cloudy days and the unceasing rain, a steady drum, drum, drum.
The beat of necessary water coming down.
A call for more than just a single beam of light midday
That pierces the clouds for just a moment - a single perfect moment - yet all too soon fades away.
Leaving us once more in enclosing darkness with that one sound
                        Drip, drip, drip.
Stay steady through the dark days of chill and frost
Warm hands and feet by the fire and close your eyes to imagine the touch of flames is Summer's touch lost.
Lost to the weight of laden charcoal skies.
For soon wish fulfillment, Summer comes, bypassing Spring
No time for the gentle return of sun, heat and azure skies, the awakening of flora and fauna an abrupt thing.
And with the advent of these halcyon days our hearts cry
                       Summer, Summer, Summer.
The feelings of joy and hope surge as Summer takes further hold
Days spent glorying in the beauty of the world, the warmth chasing out the bone deep grip of Winter's cold.
But all too soon verdant hillsides fade away.
We look to the skies, skies we cursed for their unending clouds
Have you bowed to our furious cries? The unwise demands we only now see nary a soul should have said aloud?
Worry looms and we look to the horizon, hoping it will say
                        Rain, rain, rain.
It is only in the loss, the flip of the coin, that we realize the folly of what was said
Now the cry rises against this Summer plague, the scorching heat and tormentingly vast, empty skies overhead.
The Earth grows parched as Summer's fist tightens.
Wait, wait, wait, for soon that steady drum will return, a furious beat sorely missed
The world turns again and Summer fades away. We turn our faces to the sky for that first gentle drop, a sweet kiss.
Winter returns. Beloved Winter. Our minds now enlightened
                        Balance.

A Strange Fascination

Sometimes my reminder emails to my fellow clerks about our weekly lunches can get a little, well, interesting. Here's a recent example:

Today is the day. It's also a day. That day being Thursday, July 16, 2015. At least, that's the day I'm told it is. I suppose we could try to use a different calendaring system and call it something else altogether. But for purposes of clarity, we'll go with what the majority of the world calls it. That sounds right.

So, to start at the beginning...today is the day. The day for Thursday Clerk Lunch. Of course, if we did call today something other than Thursday, July 16, 2015 would we still hold this lunch? I mean it is called "Thursday Clerk Lunch," so if it's not "Thursday" maybe it can't happen at all. Huh. Something to consider. But we've decided to keep calling today Thursday, so once again that isn't something that will affect us today.

To the beginning again...today is the day for Thursday Clerk Lunch. Held at the usual place at the usual time. Don't know what those are? Think back to last Thursday. Or was it last Thursday? Was it called something else? And if it was called something else, did we even have lunch that day??? Oh wow. Now I'm totally confused. So confused I might not even know where lunch is being held or when it's being held or if it's being held at all. So, basically, I've turned into all of you guys. Is there anyone out there who can tell me what the heck is going on??? Maybe we need some kind of reminder system so that I don't get all discombobulated like this. That seems like a good idea.

And this will be our last foray back to the beginning...today is the day for something. We don't know what it is, we don't know where it's happening, we don't know when it's happening and, at this point, we're not even 100% sure it is happening because it's possible that none of us exist. Good luck.

For those of you who are now feeling completely adrift and want to try to put your lives back together, here is a little something for you to think on...

What do you do when you're bored? I'm not talking about those times when you're bored and you just sit around staring at the ground or spinning in circles in your desk chair. I'm talking about those times when you're bored, but your brain wants to be doing something and you just want to scream your frustration out. What do you do then? Do you try to turn off your brain? Do you work on a crossword puzzle? Do you actually *shudder* work? I think at this point in our lives we have probably all come up with ways to combat this disastrous occurrence and I will now offer mine as an option for all of you. When extremely bored, but intellectually stimulated I research serial killers. Is this strange? I don't know why, but during slow times at school or during slow times at work I tend to find myself online and reading about different serial killers in US history. These stories just fascinate me. And whenever one of the major news outlets features a retrospective on the worst killers of the '60s or worst serial killers of all times, I just have to read it.

I've been told a time or two that this is a very strange obsession. And I haven't ever been able to pinpoint why I am so fascinated, but there's no denying that I am. It just never ceases to amaze me that people can be so evil, that something in their minds can be so broken that they perpetrate these horrendous crimes on their fellow men ("men" being a term for mankind, not simply the male of the species, since a lot of serial killer victims seem to be women). And the question of why is so rarely answered. And while in some cases there were seemingly no clues that would have led anyone to suspect what was going to happen (looking at you, Ted Bundy, the guy everyone described as so normal), there were others who were brazen in their status.

And that leads me to my most recent interesting killer - Jim Jones of Jonestown fame. The man who created a cult ("religion") and then convinced over 900 people (which includes hundreds of children) to commit mass suicide. How on earth did he gain so many followers? I can understand how people might have followed him in the beginning. He did get his start in the faith healing sects of Christianity (and I've always felt that those people seemed more susceptible to religious fervor, which can quickly get out of hand and seems to lead you down some very strange paths), but reading about him makes it clear that he went off the rails in his "teachings" very quickly. But not only did he gain a  huge following, he managed to convince all those people to kill themselves by drinking cyanide laced kool aid. What a terrible way to go! I mean, no method of suicide sounds particularly appealing to me (thank goodness), but if I did have to go, I would not want to go by cyanide (if Agatha Christie has taught me anything, it's that cyanide poisoning is not a pleasant way to die). And did you know that this is where the phrase "don't drink the kool aid" came from? That blew my mind. I had absolutely no ideas as to it's origin. (A recent poll shows that I was alone in my ignorance and everyone knew where that phrase came from. In my defense, I had always just assumed that it was proof that my detestation of kool aid was spot on.) But back to the question of why, the question that keeps me reading about these terrible crimes. Why did Jones do this? Well, there is ample evidence to show that this guy was more than a little off his rocker. But in this particular case the bigger question for me is why did all those people follow him? Why did they go along with his crazy plans? How could parents willingly murder their children, some of them babies? It just boggles the mind. And did any of them really believe that they would all be reborn in a paradise on a distant planet? It's hard to believe that so many people went along with that man to the point of actual death.

My fascination with these  and similar atrocities has also extended into my reading (books, not just internet articles) for years. I've often heard the refrain from friends and family, "But don't you get tired of reading about the Nazis." The answer to that is, of course, yes. I don't particularly enjoy reading about the Holocaust and similar instances of genocide, but I also think that it's important to read about them. To bear witness for the people who died and those who survived. To remind yourself that you always need to think critically about what is going on in society and around you. Because if history has taught us anything, it's that it is very easy for humans to get swept up in a mass fervor, be it religious, patriotic, or idealistic (with some very horrible ideals, to be sure). We all need to be able to think for ourselves and critically examine where we are being led as both an individual and as a society and whether that is a road we want to travel down. For all that we are a modern society and the world fully ensconced in the 21st century (as if that is some beacon of enlightenment), these atrocities still happen today. And it's up to us to educate ourselves about the past so that we can hopefully learn from those mistakes and ensure they do not happen in the future.

Of course, that very legitimate reason for reading about history still doesn't explain my fascination with serial killers. Hmmm...maybe we'll just say I'm a bit morbid and leave it there. It's probably best not to delve too deeply into the psyche of someone obsessed with serial killers. ;)

For those of you who are looking for some interesting books on horrors around the world, take a look below...

World War II-

1. "In the Garden of Beasts" by Erik Larson - An incredible book about the American ambassador and his family in Berlin during Hitler's rise to power. If you want a history that touches how the German population allowed itself to be slowly led into committing the atrocities of the Holocaust, this is the book for you. A truly fascinating read that almost feels like fiction.

2. "The Monuments Men: Allied Heroes, Nazi Thieves, and the Greatest Treasure Hunt in History" by Robert M. Edsel - Sometimes you need an uplifting story and this tale about artists, art restorers, and museum curators coming together to protect and rescue Europe's stolen art is a fantastic read.

3. "Free to Die for Their Country: The Story of the Japanese American Draft Resisters in World War II" by Eric Muller - WWII wasn't all about the Nazis. The US did some pretty horrible things as well. After detaining Japanese Americans at camps around the US for years we then drafted some of those young men into our military. These are stories of some of the young men who resisted that draft.

4. "Farewell to Manzanar: A True Story of Japanese American Experience During and After the World War II Internment" by Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston - A first hand account of a young girl growing up in the US Japanese Internment camps.

5. "No-No Boy" by John Okada - Another fascinating book about a Japanese American boy in the US internment camps.

6. "Daniel's Story" by Carol Matas - This was one of my first introductions to the Holocaust in 7th grade. A great book that introduces young kids to the subject.

7. "Night" by Elie Wiesel - I hope that many of you have read this book. The firsthand account of a survivor of the concentration camps. A short book, but one that will stay with you for a very long time.

8. "Road to Valour: Gino Bartali: Tour de France Legend and Italy's Secret World War Two Hero" by Aili McConnon - Enough of a sports book that it will satisfy the masses, but the truly amazing story here is how this cycling legend acted as courier for false documents to help get Jews out of Italy during WWII.

Child Soldiers-

1. "A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" by Ishmael Beah - Beautifully written and an astounding first hand account of the life of a young boy in Sierra Leone who was forced to become a child soldier. (Makes for a great book club read. Can you guess whose choice it was for my book club?)

Cambodia's Khmer Rouge-

1. "First They Killed My Father" by Loung Ung - A book that is sure to break your heart. Pol Pot led the Khmer Rouge in a genocide against the people of Cambodia. This is the story Loung Ung and her family's evacuation from Phnom Penh and subsequent move from town to town as slowly she loses members of her family.

The World-

1. "Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide" by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn - There are many sad tales about oppressed women in this book, to be sure. But the ultimate message is uplifting. The book focuses on how we can help women around the world break free of oppression and better their lives, sometimes through something as simple as easy access to fresh water for their families so young girls don't have to leave school.

Anticipation

I have a serious question. What is the best policy when it comes to anticipation? If you are anticipating a big trip, a potential job offer, a visit from friends or family, or some other event in your life, what is the best policy? Should you try to tone down your anticipation so that you won't be disappointed if the event doesn't live up to your expectations or should you just let yourself go and be excited beyond belief? And is it even possible to choose? Is the idea of this choice to tamp down our anticipation really just a fallacy we create in our minds? I'm really not sure.

In recent months I was rejected from a job I really wanted. I knew it was a competitive position and that hundreds of people had applied. But I also knew (wrongly, I suppose) that I was perfect for the job. So, when I received an opportunity to interview I was extremely excited, but I also kind of expected it. (I know that sounds a little cocky, but my resume seriously fit the job description and I had a couple friends on the inside talking me up.) Now, I tried to temper my excitement and expectations and thought I did a pretty good job of it. In fact, I even told myself that I had no expectations of really getting the job. But then came the dreaded rejection letter and I was flummoxed and somewhat heartbroken. No matter how much I had told myself I tamped down my anticipation, I was still taken by surprise. I couldn't tone down my anticipation and I felt the effect of underwhelmed expectations that we've all felt from time to time.

But maybe that was just a one time situation. Are there situations in which you can actually tone down your anticipation of an event such that you won't feel that epic disappointment if things don't go your way or live up to your expectations? Prior to this job rejection fiasco I would have answered immediately in the affirmative. I have always lived my life tamping down on the negative. When I feel seriously stressed, out of sorts, out of control, unhappy, or any other negative emotions my first instinct is to always tamp them down. Just shove those feelings into a little ball in the bottom of my stomach and hope that eventually they will all go away and I just won't have to deal with them while I put on a happy (or at least fairly neutral) face to the world. (This, of course, is not to say that I am not occasionally grumpy or irritated. I think we all know I get into those moods from time to time, particularly, according to my family, when I'm hungry.) And since anticipation can so easily lead to disappointment, I've tried to tamp down on my anticipation as much as possible as well. Even when it's something that I just know will be wonderful, I try to bring myself down to earth just in case. I've always thought I was successful, but now, after my recent experience, I've been wondering about whether I've been successful at it at all a great deal.

And I suppose this all ultimately leads to the question of whether people even should temper their anticipation (assuming it's possible). There is, of course, the classic argument that if you don't have high expectations, then you won't ever really be disappointed. But I'm not entirely sure that's a good thing. Yes, if your expectations are dashed it can bring you to the lowest of lows, but if your expectations are met and all that anticipation was for a good reason, then you will reach the highest of highs. Nothing feels quite as sweet as that moment when everything you anticipated comes to fruition. Like those events where you have a perfect moment on a trip you've been waiting for for so long - that moment of peace and fulfillment when you reach the top of the trail after a long hike and the view is just as beautiful and soul changing as you could have ever hoped - or when a visit with your family goes just as you wanted full of laughter, love, and joy. Would those feelings be as good if you had spent all the time leading up to them tamping down your anticipation of the event, essentially expecting the worst (or at least something a little bad)? Isn't it better to maybe just let yourself go, expecting the best out of life and out of everything that's coming? Sure, you'll be disappointed from time to time and that will never feel good, but when those perfect moments occur, they are just all the sweeter.

I don't know that there's any one answer or if one option is a healthier outlook for life than the other. I guess, for myself, I would like to move in a direction of positivity. Anticipating all the good things that will come my way in life and that everything will turn out just the way I imagined. And considering the other method didn't work so well for me, it seems like a solid plan going forward. Of course, this all leads to the issue of negative expectations and whether you should hope for the best in those situations, but that's a conversation for another day.

The Movie

Last night I attended a showing of Romancing the Stone at OMSI (the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry - one of the best things about living in Portland). The film was shown as part of the Reel Science series, which shows older films and provides a 30 minute science lecture linked to the film beforehand and a Q&A session after. OMSI has shown some of my favorite movies in this series including: Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (lecture on how Indy was just about the worst archaeologist ever), The Princess Bride (with a fencing demonstration by the Mexican National Fencing Team), Jaws (on sharks, what else?), Jurassic Park (dinos), Labyrinth (puppeteering), and more! Well, this month's film was Romancing the Stone, an 80s classic with Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny Devito. It has been a family favorite for years along with the sequel Jewel of the Nile. If you haven't seen them, I highly recommend them both. The science lecture for this film focused on geology and gems by a representative from the Oregon Department of Geology and Mineral Industries. I invited my entire family to the event with me, but, alas, they all decided travelling hundreds of miles to see a movie on the big screen that came out more than 30 years ago was not worth it. I'm not going to lie, that hurt. And so to that, I saw the following....

Last night I went out to see,
A movie very familiar to me,
A remnant from my childhood,
A family favorite that's oh, so good.
Adventure, daring, and great escapades,
A dash of romance and villains to evade.
I laughed until my sides both ached,
And tears of hilarity streamed down my face.
But the best part were the memories,
That watching it brought back to me.
Those feelings of home, family and friends,
Surrounded me now as they did back then.
Though my family is all far, far away,
And I likely won't see them for many a day,
I felt their presence clear as can be,
As I watched that old favorite movie.
And now the only thing left to do,
Is tell them I saw it and let them all stew,
In their jealousy of little old me,
As I laugh in the corner: tee hee hee hee.


Isn't family a glorious thing?