Wisdom & Advice from a Bearcat

This may sound odd to a non-cat owner, but my life, in no small way, revolves around my cat. I'm not entirely sure why or how 6 pounds of fluff rules my house, but she absolutely does. For instance, tonight I was out at a friend's birthday celebration after work and at around 7:20 pm I decided it was about time to leave. This was in part because I was tired after a long day at work, but also because I knew Chloe was at home waiting for me and would undoubtedly make my life hell if I didn't get home in time to spend at least a couple hours awake with her. I caved to the fluff. But I think most cat owners out there will understand my predicament. Dog owners may conform their lives to their dog's schedule because they don't want their pup to pee or poo inside the house, but cat owners don't have that excuse. Instead, we conform to the demands of our cats out of both love and fear. The love is our desire to have our cats continue to love us - and let's not kid ourselves here, if we put one foot out of line it's going to be at least a few days of hell for us as we work to win back our cat's affections. And the fear is at the prospect of losing that love and having our cat treat us the way he or she treats the cable man (or my sister, in Chloe's case). That is something no cat owner wants. And cats are sneaky, they will find subtle, yet profound ways to pay you back for any perceived slight (my mother's cat Julie - Chloe's mother - goes on a hunger strike every time my Mom leaves on a trip). Cat owners know that it's easiest to simply keep the peace and do everything possible to make the cat happy because then we're sure to be closer to happiness ourselves.

Now, in order to ensure that this peace continues, it is important for the wise cat owner to get inside the head of his or her cat. Try to understand why the cat does what it does. Unfortunately, sometimes our feline friends are just completely inscrutable. There must be some disconnect on certain subjects between humans and felines, a bridge that simply cannot be crossed. In the hopes of helping you, my (potentially imaginary - is anyone reading this blog?) friends understand your own furry companions a little better, I have decided to start providing you with my insights into Chloe's psyche. Perhaps it can inspire you to better understand your cat or you will see something here that rings true in your own household. Look for posts in the future on "The Wisdom and Advice of Chloe the Bearcat."* For now, here is what Chloe says on the subject of biting...

“Ooooo! What is this new, shiny object? I’ll bite it to find out.” 

Advice: If it’s new, bite it.

“Ooooo! Is this my human’s hand coming to pet me? I’ll bite it to be sure.” 

Advice: If it’s there, bite it.

“I love belly rubs and head scratches! Biting your hand will get that message across.” 

Advice: If you like it, bite it.

*Please Note: The "Advice" Chloe offers here is to other cats. Unfortunately, when she found out I was writing this blog about her, she insisted that I include her advice for other cats on how to behave with "a cat's human." It feels demeaning and I'm not sure I want to send this information out into the world so that other people's cats start behaving like Chloe, but I'm once again caving to the fluff. See the second half of paragraph 1 as to why. And good luck to us all. 

Saying Good-bye (or Out with the Old and In with the New!)

Today was my last Thursday as a clerk at the Multnomah County Circuit Court. It's hard to believe. In fact, it's almost impossible to believe. Like so many of my peers, I graduated law school without a job. In fact, I was unemployed for about 9 months after graduation. And it was horrible. I've never been a super motivated person and I've always liked my downtime, so I assumed unemployment would be just a little too comfortable for me. But as it turns out, when you have nothing but downtime, it's really not such fun. All the things that you love to do when you've earned them at the end of a long day of work (pleasure reading, watching TV, going to the movies, hanging out with friends, even quilting) are just not as much fun when that is all you do every day. I hated unemployment and actually worked pretty hard to try to rectify that situation. In January 2013, having decided I needed more practical experience on my resume, I began volunteering at the Courthouse in downtown Portland. Well, two months later I was hired as a clerk and that's where I've been working ever since.

Now, the clerk job was a pretty good gig and I had some very good times. I made some amazing friends, gained some incredible experience, and began writing weekly Thursday Clerk Lunch reminder emails that have led to a lot of the posts you've read here. But having been doing this job for about 2.5 years now, I've gotten a bit bored. I've known for a while that it was time to move on and have been looking for a new job since last fall. I took a brief hiatus from the job search in the early months of this year when my big sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, but picked the search back up again this summer after she officially kicked cancer's a**. To my astonishment and great joy, I received a job offer a few weeks ago from Nike. The world headquarters of Nike is in Beaverton, OR, right next to Portland, and that is where I will be working from now on. I am so excited and beyond ready for this next step. It's time to move on. But that does mean leaving some incredible friends behind.

Today marked my very last Thursday Clerk Lunch with all my friends at the Courthouse. Below is the poem I wrote for them and that was sent out in my last reminder email as a final good-bye.

How do you expect me to say good-bye to friends held so very dear,
To people I've come to greatly respect, this amazing sea of peers?
For the time has come for me to leave, to go on a separate way,
A new path to travel, a new road to walk, for all the coming days.
Perhaps the Bard said it best, "parting is such sweet sorrow,"
But Romeo and Juliet were fools who didn't live to see tomorrow.
Let's look instead to Winnie the Pooh, that silly tub of lard,
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
Thank you all for the time we've spent together here at work,
You've made the time pass so fast these two years I've been a clerk.

Now, wish me luck as I head off to this new adventure! I can't wait to see what it brings.

Zombie Apocalypse

Anybody who knows me knows that I am a big fan of zombies. I don't know when my interest/fascination/obsession with zombies (books, movies, 5K runs, etc.) started (sometime in college, I think), but it is one that has endured for many years. In fact, my final senior English seminar paper in college was on the Resident Evil film series and how it's an evolving allegory for our societal fears today. (I'm still not sure how I managed to get that topic past my professor, but I had a great time watching those movies over and over again in preparation for writing.) I continue to read and watch any new zombie books and films that come out (I highly recommend reading Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion and World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks) and enjoy them all immensely (some more than others, of course). It should come as no surprise to learn then that I've also spent an inordinate amount of time planning exactly what I will (note: will, not would) do when the zombie apocalypse finally occurs.  What weapons for protection from the walking dead and humans I will acquire, whether to stay in cities or head for the country-side, how to meet up with my family and which of my family members I think would actually survive long enough for me to meet up with them (I'm sorry to say that

some of my siblings have no hope of making it). I've also discussed this in depth with two of my sisters and taken components of their plans and adapted them to my own while also scoffing at what are clearly some very foolish ideas on how to survive. I'm pretty sure that I now have a workable plan that will ensure my survival in the face of the zombie apocalypse, be they fast or slow zombies. (And don't worry, Mom & Dad, I've got a plan to get to you both and protect you from the undead hordes.)

Now, knowing all of this, it also can't come as a surprise to learn that zombies are quite frequently on my mind. (To have an adequate zombie apocalypse plan you must be constantly evolving that plan according to the changes of society, geography, family, etc. - every good zombie apocalypse preparer knows this.) And so, today I offer to you all a zombie apocalypse poem for your enjoyment. I hope it inspires all of you to become more well read (and well watched) on the subject and convinces you all to start formulating your own survival plan. Good luck!

The end of all is drawing near,

We gather close out of fear.

Cling together, don't let go,

Keep your breathing nice and slow.

Don't make a sound, not one peep,

In the shadows they now creep.

Use your head to stay alive,

Before you run, count to five.

To make sure the coast is clear,

Take a pause, what do you hear?

A slow shuffle, a dragging foot,

Moans of hunger, now take a look,

Around the corner, what do you see?

Too many horrors, it's time to flee!

Do you know now where to run,

Where safety lies under the sun?

Did you make a plan in case,

You were to witness the end of days?

I hope you gave it some good thought,

As the man too slow is surely caught.

They called me a fool and laughed in my face,

But who's laughing now as the zombies give chase?

Blogs in the Family

I come from a family of bloggers. And I have no one to blame but myself. Our collective introduction to the world of blogging began when I travelled to SE Asia in 2010. Prior to that time I don’t think anyone in my family had ever given much thought to even reading someone’s blog and certainly no thought to keeping a blog themselves. But when I decided to travel alone half a world away from home, friends, and family to live in SE Asia for three months after my first year of law school this all changed. We’ve always been a tightknit clan and the prospect of being largely out of communication for that entire period of time was intolerable (particularly to my parents – I am their youngest and favorite child, after all). At first we considered merely having me send out periodic email updates to everyone, but considering the large number of people I would need to keep in touch with (I am one of six siblings and lets not even start on the size of the extended fam) this seemed too impractical for words. And so, in a moment of genius (I have quite a few of these), I suggested that I keep a blog. This would allow me to write one update on me and my life while travelling that everyone could read when and where they wanted and I wouldn’t require me to spend my entire three months abroad simply answering emails. Thus was born Adventures of a Bookworm Abroad, my first blog.

Prior to that initial blogging experience I had never really considered whether or not I enjoyed writing. I wrote all the time for school, of course; but writing research papers or essays on novels is in no way similar to creative or journal writing. I found in very short order that I, in fact, loved keeping a blog. Years of excessive (according to my mother) reading had given me a decent command of the English language and I found that I enjoyed finding my own voice and describing my travelling adventures for friends and family to (hopefully) enjoy.

Then I returned home to the US and fell into a funk. It can be really difficult to go from life on the road to the more sedentary pace of “real life.” Combine that with the fact that I had been living in third world countries for three months, gaining exposure for the first time to the plight of so many people around the world who live in abject poverty, and then came back to the rampant consumerism of the United States and it’s no wonder that I was a teensy bit depressed upon my return. It took me about six months or so before I returned to normal and during that time I was not blogging. My Bookworm Abroad blog had served its purpose, chronicling my adventures away from home and now that I had returned to my regular life there seemed to be nothing more to say. Then, one day, while sitting in a ridiculously boring constitutional law class, I had an idea for a blog post and my second blog was born: Thoughts of a Bookworm at Home. I don’t write nearly as often as I should, but I try to keep up a regular stream of posts consisting of random thoughts, occasional diatribes, and, quite frequently, poetry.

My family seemed genuinely pleased that I returned to my blogging and encouraged my efforts. And only a few months later my mom told me that she had decided to start a blog as well. This blog would be a blog for herself and her quilting compatriots (of which I am a member). My mother is an incredible woman who knows how to do every art and craft. Literally. You would have great trouble finding a type of art or craft that my mother does not know how to do. She has done it all: book making, paper making, stamp carving, painting (oil, watercolor, acrylics), drawing (pencil, color pencil, charcoal, pastels), sculpture, knitting, crocheting, doll making, needle felting, mixed media art, embroidery, quilting, etc. In the past few years, however, she has focused her attention largely on quilting. My mom has collected a group of friends and family, all fellow quilters, and created a group that my dad calls “The Stix Chix” (Stix = Sticks, because we’re too small to be a club, hehehe). Well, my mom decided that a blog was the perfect way to keep all the Six Chix connected as more and more of us were moving away from our home base of Amador County, California. Her blog was a rousing success, at least in our small circle, but my mom soon outstripped its limited parameters of knitting and quilting topics. She liked writing so much that she decided to start a second blog for herself – Moser Good Eats – a blog devoted to my parents’ food adventures and travels. Her blogs are now several years old and she remains as enthusiastic as the day she began.

And so, within the span of two years, there were four blogs between two of the Moser women. For years we held to this number and my mother and I have managed to restrain ourselves from starting any more blogs (thank goodness), but now that number has increased by one. My sister, Jana, has started her own blog – Here, Eat These Berries. Following a major health issue diagnosis (I’ll let you read more about that in her own words in her first blog post), my mom began encouraging Jana to express herself via writing by starting either a private journal or a blog. For a long time Jana resisted. In fact, through her initial treatment and recovery, over a seven month period, Jana resisted. But finally, my mom won (as she always does) and Jana started her blog just under one week ago. And even after so short of time, it’s clear that Jana is an addict. A total blogging addict.

Since that first blog post, Jana has written about two posts per day, she calls me as soon as she posts to tell me to read (even at 7:00 on a Saturday), she insists I comment at least once per post, she spends hours staging pictures and she’s obsessed with gaining readers. She’s crazy! But she’s also really funny and insightful. I can hear her voice and picture her mannerisms in every word on the page and she often makes me laugh out loud. In fact, I think my sister may be better at this blogging thing than I am. And I’m absolutely sure that it won’t be long before she outstrips me in readership.

As the tally now stands there are five blogs run by three Moser women. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before more of the family joins us in the blogosphere. I wonder what my dad is doing right now…

Adventure Awaits

You claim you're very hurt,
You clench you side in pain.
You sneak a peek at faces all around,
Seeking sympathy in vain.

For I know all your tricks,
You use to get your way,
To gain freedom from the drudgery,
And escape this hellish day.

Of course a bargain could be struck,
If you're willing to make a deal,
Take me with you out of here,
And I swear my lips are sealed.

For adventure awaits beyond these walls,
It's calling out my name.
Singing a lovely siren's song,
Of glory, fortune and great fame.

I ask you now, what will you choose,
What will you decide to do?
Stay here, cooped up with no hint of fun,
Or bravery, courage and derring-do?

No? I knew you'd see the light of day,
Now just follow where I lead,
And grab your stomach one more time,
For you are sick, it's clear to see.

Balance

A wish in the Winter for sunshine to come
An end to the endless cloudy days and the unceasing rain, a steady drum, drum, drum.
The beat of necessary water coming down.
A call for more than just a single beam of light midday
That pierces the clouds for just a moment - a single perfect moment - yet all too soon fades away.
Leaving us once more in enclosing darkness with that one sound
                        Drip, drip, drip.
Stay steady through the dark days of chill and frost
Warm hands and feet by the fire and close your eyes to imagine the touch of flames is Summer's touch lost.
Lost to the weight of laden charcoal skies.
For soon wish fulfillment, Summer comes, bypassing Spring
No time for the gentle return of sun, heat and azure skies, the awakening of flora and fauna an abrupt thing.
And with the advent of these halcyon days our hearts cry
                       Summer, Summer, Summer.
The feelings of joy and hope surge as Summer takes further hold
Days spent glorying in the beauty of the world, the warmth chasing out the bone deep grip of Winter's cold.
But all too soon verdant hillsides fade away.
We look to the skies, skies we cursed for their unending clouds
Have you bowed to our furious cries? The unwise demands we only now see nary a soul should have said aloud?
Worry looms and we look to the horizon, hoping it will say
                        Rain, rain, rain.
It is only in the loss, the flip of the coin, that we realize the folly of what was said
Now the cry rises against this Summer plague, the scorching heat and tormentingly vast, empty skies overhead.
The Earth grows parched as Summer's fist tightens.
Wait, wait, wait, for soon that steady drum will return, a furious beat sorely missed
The world turns again and Summer fades away. We turn our faces to the sky for that first gentle drop, a sweet kiss.
Winter returns. Beloved Winter. Our minds now enlightened
                        Balance.

A Strange Fascination

Sometimes my reminder emails to my fellow clerks about our weekly lunches can get a little, well, interesting. Here's a recent example:

Today is the day. It's also a day. That day being Thursday, July 16, 2015. At least, that's the day I'm told it is. I suppose we could try to use a different calendaring system and call it something else altogether. But for purposes of clarity, we'll go with what the majority of the world calls it. That sounds right.

So, to start at the beginning...today is the day. The day for Thursday Clerk Lunch. Of course, if we did call today something other than Thursday, July 16, 2015 would we still hold this lunch? I mean it is called "Thursday Clerk Lunch," so if it's not "Thursday" maybe it can't happen at all. Huh. Something to consider. But we've decided to keep calling today Thursday, so once again that isn't something that will affect us today.

To the beginning again...today is the day for Thursday Clerk Lunch. Held at the usual place at the usual time. Don't know what those are? Think back to last Thursday. Or was it last Thursday? Was it called something else? And if it was called something else, did we even have lunch that day??? Oh wow. Now I'm totally confused. So confused I might not even know where lunch is being held or when it's being held or if it's being held at all. So, basically, I've turned into all of you guys. Is there anyone out there who can tell me what the heck is going on??? Maybe we need some kind of reminder system so that I don't get all discombobulated like this. That seems like a good idea.

And this will be our last foray back to the beginning...today is the day for something. We don't know what it is, we don't know where it's happening, we don't know when it's happening and, at this point, we're not even 100% sure it is happening because it's possible that none of us exist. Good luck.

For those of you who are now feeling completely adrift and want to try to put your lives back together, here is a little something for you to think on...

What do you do when you're bored? I'm not talking about those times when you're bored and you just sit around staring at the ground or spinning in circles in your desk chair. I'm talking about those times when you're bored, but your brain wants to be doing something and you just want to scream your frustration out. What do you do then? Do you try to turn off your brain? Do you work on a crossword puzzle? Do you actually *shudder* work? I think at this point in our lives we have probably all come up with ways to combat this disastrous occurrence and I will now offer mine as an option for all of you. When extremely bored, but intellectually stimulated I research serial killers. Is this strange? I don't know why, but during slow times at school or during slow times at work I tend to find myself online and reading about different serial killers in US history. These stories just fascinate me. And whenever one of the major news outlets features a retrospective on the worst killers of the '60s or worst serial killers of all times, I just have to read it.

I've been told a time or two that this is a very strange obsession. And I haven't ever been able to pinpoint why I am so fascinated, but there's no denying that I am. It just never ceases to amaze me that people can be so evil, that something in their minds can be so broken that they perpetrate these horrendous crimes on their fellow men ("men" being a term for mankind, not simply the male of the species, since a lot of serial killer victims seem to be women). And the question of why is so rarely answered. And while in some cases there were seemingly no clues that would have led anyone to suspect what was going to happen (looking at you, Ted Bundy, the guy everyone described as so normal), there were others who were brazen in their status.

And that leads me to my most recent interesting killer - Jim Jones of Jonestown fame. The man who created a cult ("religion") and then convinced over 900 people (which includes hundreds of children) to commit mass suicide. How on earth did he gain so many followers? I can understand how people might have followed him in the beginning. He did get his start in the faith healing sects of Christianity (and I've always felt that those people seemed more susceptible to religious fervor, which can quickly get out of hand and seems to lead you down some very strange paths), but reading about him makes it clear that he went off the rails in his "teachings" very quickly. But not only did he gain a  huge following, he managed to convince all those people to kill themselves by drinking cyanide laced kool aid. What a terrible way to go! I mean, no method of suicide sounds particularly appealing to me (thank goodness), but if I did have to go, I would not want to go by cyanide (if Agatha Christie has taught me anything, it's that cyanide poisoning is not a pleasant way to die). And did you know that this is where the phrase "don't drink the kool aid" came from? That blew my mind. I had absolutely no ideas as to it's origin. (A recent poll shows that I was alone in my ignorance and everyone knew where that phrase came from. In my defense, I had always just assumed that it was proof that my detestation of kool aid was spot on.) But back to the question of why, the question that keeps me reading about these terrible crimes. Why did Jones do this? Well, there is ample evidence to show that this guy was more than a little off his rocker. But in this particular case the bigger question for me is why did all those people follow him? Why did they go along with his crazy plans? How could parents willingly murder their children, some of them babies? It just boggles the mind. And did any of them really believe that they would all be reborn in a paradise on a distant planet? It's hard to believe that so many people went along with that man to the point of actual death.

My fascination with these  and similar atrocities has also extended into my reading (books, not just internet articles) for years. I've often heard the refrain from friends and family, "But don't you get tired of reading about the Nazis." The answer to that is, of course, yes. I don't particularly enjoy reading about the Holocaust and similar instances of genocide, but I also think that it's important to read about them. To bear witness for the people who died and those who survived. To remind yourself that you always need to think critically about what is going on in society and around you. Because if history has taught us anything, it's that it is very easy for humans to get swept up in a mass fervor, be it religious, patriotic, or idealistic (with some very horrible ideals, to be sure). We all need to be able to think for ourselves and critically examine where we are being led as both an individual and as a society and whether that is a road we want to travel down. For all that we are a modern society and the world fully ensconced in the 21st century (as if that is some beacon of enlightenment), these atrocities still happen today. And it's up to us to educate ourselves about the past so that we can hopefully learn from those mistakes and ensure they do not happen in the future.

Of course, that very legitimate reason for reading about history still doesn't explain my fascination with serial killers. Hmmm...maybe we'll just say I'm a bit morbid and leave it there. It's probably best not to delve too deeply into the psyche of someone obsessed with serial killers. ;)

For those of you who are looking for some interesting books on horrors around the world, take a look below...

World War II-

1. "In the Garden of Beasts" by Erik Larson - An incredible book about the American ambassador and his family in Berlin during Hitler's rise to power. If you want a history that touches how the German population allowed itself to be slowly led into committing the atrocities of the Holocaust, this is the book for you. A truly fascinating read that almost feels like fiction.

2. "The Monuments Men: Allied Heroes, Nazi Thieves, and the Greatest Treasure Hunt in History" by Robert M. Edsel - Sometimes you need an uplifting story and this tale about artists, art restorers, and museum curators coming together to protect and rescue Europe's stolen art is a fantastic read.

3. "Free to Die for Their Country: The Story of the Japanese American Draft Resisters in World War II" by Eric Muller - WWII wasn't all about the Nazis. The US did some pretty horrible things as well. After detaining Japanese Americans at camps around the US for years we then drafted some of those young men into our military. These are stories of some of the young men who resisted that draft.

4. "Farewell to Manzanar: A True Story of Japanese American Experience During and After the World War II Internment" by Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston - A first hand account of a young girl growing up in the US Japanese Internment camps.

5. "No-No Boy" by John Okada - Another fascinating book about a Japanese American boy in the US internment camps.

6. "Daniel's Story" by Carol Matas - This was one of my first introductions to the Holocaust in 7th grade. A great book that introduces young kids to the subject.

7. "Night" by Elie Wiesel - I hope that many of you have read this book. The firsthand account of a survivor of the concentration camps. A short book, but one that will stay with you for a very long time.

8. "Road to Valour: Gino Bartali: Tour de France Legend and Italy's Secret World War Two Hero" by Aili McConnon - Enough of a sports book that it will satisfy the masses, but the truly amazing story here is how this cycling legend acted as courier for false documents to help get Jews out of Italy during WWII.

Child Soldiers-

1. "A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" by Ishmael Beah - Beautifully written and an astounding first hand account of the life of a young boy in Sierra Leone who was forced to become a child soldier. (Makes for a great book club read. Can you guess whose choice it was for my book club?)

Cambodia's Khmer Rouge-

1. "First They Killed My Father" by Loung Ung - A book that is sure to break your heart. Pol Pot led the Khmer Rouge in a genocide against the people of Cambodia. This is the story Loung Ung and her family's evacuation from Phnom Penh and subsequent move from town to town as slowly she loses members of her family.

The World-

1. "Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide" by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn - There are many sad tales about oppressed women in this book, to be sure. But the ultimate message is uplifting. The book focuses on how we can help women around the world break free of oppression and better their lives, sometimes through something as simple as easy access to fresh water for their families so young girls don't have to leave school.